Manos: The Hands of Fate – The Movie So Bad It’ll Make You Appreciate the News

Discover the masterpiece that no one wanted: the disaster that rewrote the rules of cinematic trash.
September 15, 2024 by
Manos: The Hands of Fate – The Movie So Bad It’ll Make You Appreciate the News
homoerectus, Alessandro Liggieri

If you think bad movies are fun, you haven’t seen Manos: The Hands of Fate yet. A masterpiece of chaos and absurdity that will make you rethink even the films you hate.

Why Watching This Movie Is a Unique (and Painful) Experience 

There’s a category of films that go beyond just being bad. Manos: The Hands of Fate isn’t just a movie to forget; it’s a mystical experience that forces you to reconsider your life choices. Directed by Harold P. Warren, who understood cinema about as well as a fish understands skydiving, Manos makes you question everything. Why was this movie made? How did it end up in theaters? Who thought this was a good idea? These are just some of the existential questions you’ll ask yourself during its interminable 70 minutes. It’s so poorly done, you might want to call your parents and apologize, even though you don’t know what for.

When Plot Doesn’t Matter: The Total Chaos of Manos 

Manos: The Hands of Fate ranks among the gods of movies that never should have been made. The plot? Well, if we can call it that. There’s a man, his family, and a vacation gone wrong. Too simple? Not really. Our hero, Michael, gets lost and ends up in a house ruled by a creepy master and his servant, Torgo. Ah, Torgo. A performance so bizarre you don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or call for help. The whole film is a series of nonsensical scenes, with dialogue that could’ve been written by someone playing Scrabble while hungover. But it’s this very chaos that has made Manos a legend of cinematic trash. There’s no coherence, no decent acting, and the cinematography feels like it was done by someone learning how to use a camera for the first time.

Manos’ Plot: The Journey to Nowhere

The story of Manos can be summarized like this: a family goes on vacation, gets lost, and ends up in a house ruled by a creepy “Master.” It sounds like the start of a B-horror movie, but the reality is much worse. Michael, the protagonist, along with his wife and daughter, find themselves trapped in a situation so absurd it feels like a bad joke. The Master has a cult of zombie wives who, honestly, would probably rather be anywhere else. And then there’s Torgo, who seems like he never really understood what he was doing there. The plot unravels like a frayed rope: slowly and strangely, until you realize there’s no real resolution. Just giant hands everywhere and a finale that leaves you feeling empty inside.  

Why Watching Manos Is Like a Divine Punishment

Guardare Manos: The Hands of Fate non è per i deboli di cuore. La regia è praticamente inesistente, con inquadrature storte e tempi morti che fanno sembrare ogni scena un’agonia visiva. La fotografia? Immagina un video girato dal tuo cugino di otto anni con una vecchia VHS: sgranata, mal messa a fuoco, eppure perfetta per immortalare questo disastro. Gli attori, se così possiamo chiamarli, sembrano in preda a una crisi d’identità. Nessuno sa cosa sta succedendo, men che meno loro. È una lezione su cosa non fare quando si gira un film. Eppure, è così terribile che non puoi fare a meno di guardarlo, come quando osservi il traffico di un incidente da lontano. Questo film non è solo brutto, è un testamento al potere dell’incompetenza.

Un assaggio imperdibile!

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A taste you can't miss!

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Perché te lo consiglio

Te lo consiglio perché a volte bisogna confrontarsi con il lato oscuro della creatività umana per apprezzare davvero l'arte. Manos: The Hands of Fate è un'esperienza mistica, quasi catartica, che ti farà riflettere sui limiti dell'essere umano. Se sei appassionato di trash cinematografico e vuoi vedere fino a dove può spingersi l'incompetenza, questo è il film perfetto.



Voto

 

Perché non te lo consiglio

Non te lo consiglio perché guardarlo è un po' come sottoporsi a una seduta di auto-tortura. Se cerchi un film con una trama sensata, recitazione accettabile o anche solo immagini a fuoco, Manos: The Hands of Fate non è la scelta giusta. Ci sono momenti in cui il brutto è divertente, ma qui siamo ben oltre quella soglia: siamo nel regno del "Perché sto facendo questo a me stesso?".



Why I Recommend It

I recommend it because sometimes you need to face the dark side of human creativity to truly appreciate art. Manos: The Hands of Fate is a mystical, almost cathartic experience that will make you ponder the limits of human failure. If you’re a fan of cinematic trash and want to see just how far incompetence can go, this is the perfect movie for you.

Rating

 

Why I Don't Recommend It

I don’t recommend it because watching it is like undergoing a session of self-torture. If you’re looking for a movie with a coherent plot, decent acting, or even just in-focus shots, Manos: The Hands of Fate is not the right choice. There are times when bad is funny, but here we’re well past that point: we’ve entered the realm of "Why am I doing this to myself?"

Manos: The Hands of Fate – The Movie So Bad It’ll Make You Appreciate the News
homoerectus, Alessandro Liggieri September 15, 2024

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