The revelation of christianity: the doctrinal foundations of christianity

A practical and ironic guide to christian revelation and its fundamental doctrines.
June 14, 2024 by
The revelation of christianity: the doctrinal foundations of christianity
homoerectus, Alessandro Liggieri

Welcome to the fantastic world of Christian revelation! Before you dive in, make sure you’ve got everything you need: a brain ready to explode, a heart eager to believe, and of course, this assembly guide.

Augustine

The Essential Piece of Faith

  1. Grab the "Augustine of Hippo" piece (Code: CONF001).
  2. Assemble the "Confessions" part with the "Inner Drama" block.
  3. Insert the "Divine Truth" connector into the central hole.
  4. Tighten the existential bolts well. If you feel lost, remember, God probably has a plan.

Thomas Aquinas

The Architect of Divine Ideas

  1. Find the "Summa Theologica" manual (Code: SUMM001).
  2. IFit the "God" and "Soul" sections together.
  3. Use the hex key to secure the "Aristotelian Logic" module.
  4. Check that all parts are firmly connected. If you start seeing angels, you've done everything right.

Anselm of Canterbury

The Detective of God's Existence

  1. Identify the ontological argument (Code: ANS001).
  2. Place the "Existence of God" piece on the "Pure Logic" stand.
  3. Screw carefully to avoid cracks in the argument.
  4. Test the stability of the thought-existence system. Remember, if it exists in your mind, it exists in reality. Except dragons.

John Duns Scotus

The Defender of the Immaculate Conception

  1. Get the "Immaculate Conception" module (Code: DUNS001).
  2. Insert it into the logical framework with the "Purity" screwdriver.
  3. Secure with theological screws to ensure an airtight seal.
  4. Perform a final check with the orthodoxy tester. If Mary didn't sin, neither should your assembly.

Here's the deal: Christian Revelation is like IKEA furniture

You've assembled Augustine, Thomas, Anselm, and Duns Scotus. You've tightened bolts, screwed in theological screwdrivers, and put together existential pieces without (too many) leftovers. Now you have a fine theological piece of furniture, ready to support your religious beliefs without collapsing at the first breath of doubt. But remember, like any good IKEA furniture, it requires maintenance: re-reading, rethinking, and yes, sometimes, rearranging a few pieces.

And just like IKEA furniture, there will always be parts that seem not to find their place. But that's the beauty of it: the continuous adjustment and search for balance. If you feel like you've put everything together correctly but the result is still crooked, welcome to the club. Even the greatest theologians sometimes scratch their heads at certain mysteries.

So, go ahead, explore, and don't forget to enjoy the journey. And if everything goes wrong, remember that God has the best customer service ever. It's not about finding all the answers, but about continuing to ask the right questions.

Why I Recommend It

I encourage you to delve into Christian revelation because it offers a unique perspective on faith and philosophy. You'll better understand the roots of Western culture and have topics to shine in conversations. And if nothing else, you'll have a good excuse to look intellectual at bars.

Why I Don't Recommend It

I don't recommend delving into Christian revelation if you're looking for simple, immediate answers. The doctrines can be complex and require time and patience. If you prefer something lighter, maybe a TV series marathon on Netflix is better. 

 

The revelation of christianity: the doctrinal foundations of christianity
homoerectus, Alessandro Liggieri June 14, 2024

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